This is to all the girls that get absolutely shit-faced in little out of the way bars;
I know you thing you are dancing like your fave pop or rock star or whatever the hell you kids are listening to these days. But god-damn, you look absolutely fuckin ridicules. Flailing around like you’re having a seizure or some shit, stumbling and drooling all over yourself, making sexual overtones to everyone in the place and offering your services as a ‘pipe cleaner’ is not a good way to find a nice friend to take home to mom. It is however a good way to contract a S.T.D. from some sleazy fuck that will take advantage of any poor drunk girl just to get his wick wet. (By the way, thanks a lot madam, for the crabs.)
See you at the pub!
My butt hurts. (and my balls itch)
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